The Facts Do Not Need To Determine Your Reality

A friend died this week. We had been friends since we were five years old. His death was a tragic end to a tragic life. The tragedy of his life seemed to be something he was stuck in. The pieces of the story are the facts. The facts include things like abusive parents, not being valued by employers, troubled spouses, and wayward children etc. There are so many wrongs and troubles which are part of our lives. In any good story, think of your favorite books and movies, the main character has to overcome an obstacle or crisis. What would happen if the character used the troubles of their past as an excuse for poor behavior or giving up? This would make the story more interesting for sure. Now the obstacle to be overcome is even greater. We can expect someone to come along in the story who believes in our character and who has hope to offer. We would expect our character to struggle with this hope and then eventually accept it and use it to overcome their obstacles. What would happen if our character continued to blame the people and events in their past and present for their current circumstances? What would happen if they failed to grasp that the facts of their past did need not determine their future? What would happen if they heard the message of hope but the story that they told themselves about their life did not include this hope that was available to them at this moment? What would happen is that we would have a tragedy.

Have you ever heard of a lucid dreamer? I am sometimes a lucid dreamer and what that means is I am aware that I am dreaming. When I was a child, I would have bad dreams. At some point I would become aware of the dream being a dream and I would change the story so that the bad dream would become a good dream. The key word here is awareness. The key concept is that I was not a victim of the dream. This means that I was aware of my ability to make a choice which would alter my reality. At some point in life we become an adult and the ability to change our story becomes a responsibility. Whose responsibility is it for you and I to live a life that fulfills our purpose? You are responsible for you and I am responsible for me. I am not responsible for my spouse or my adult children or my coworkers. You cannot be blamed if others don’t live up to their purpose and you cannot blame anyone for not living up to your purpose.

Now for this to be personal- You tell yourself stories about everything that happens to you. You have a family story. You have a work story. You have a health story. You have a friend story. You have a God story. The facts of your past in each of these stories are what they are. These facts are part of your story but they do not need to determine what happens next in your story. 

It is not like you will wake up tomorrow and forget about the injustices of the past. The mountains you are surrounded by will not instantly disappear. The injustice is a tar pit. The mountain is a barrier. The way to get out and over is to take a step. One step and then another and then another. You don’t have to do it alone. You will most likely need someone because your new story will require a new way of thinking and a new way of acting. These are things that we really need the example of another to pull off successfully. From wherever you are now, get a vision for the story of your future and then take the next best step. That next best thing is you stepping into a new story. What is that story? What is the next best step?